The stay at home vs. working mom debate (my version)

I see mom’s going at each other on message boards with clear opinions that there is a right and a wrong answer to this. I don’t get it myself. Both can provide great learning lessons for your kids, just differently. But they sure as hell can send the same message if you are a crappy parent.

If you are a stay at home mom that has an ass groove on the couch-your a crappy parenting. If you are a working mom that is the first to drop the kids off at opening and last to pick up (and not because of financial hardship)-your a crappy parent.

And here I go with yet another list. I really should start call them “how to not be an asshole lists”. I used to think that common sense wasn’t needed for parenting–apparently not so much!

If you are a working mom:

  • If you run into a mother who is covered in peanut butter and her hair is a mess and she is wearing shorts in the winter–don’t chirp to the other well dressed mom’s about the way she looks. You don’t know the what happened that morning and I bet if there was a surprise visit to you on the weekend, you aren’t all modelling material.
  • Do not commit to activities on the PTA that you know you will be unable to do and pass it off at the last minute. It doesn’t impress anyone. (PTA is a whole other blog!)
  • Yes you maybe in a hurry to get to work, however that doesn’t mean you get to cut people off in the parking lot.

If you are a stay at home mom:

  • Don’t assume that well dressed mom you run into at school spent 2 hours getting ready. I am guessing she has only shaved the parts that you can see, that dry shampoo is her friend, and she has to double check in the mirror after speed dressing just before leaving that she matches and that she doesn’t have peanut butter on her either!
  • That working moms don’t care about their kids as much as you. Maybe they didn’t have a choice to not work, or maybe they want to send a message that you can have a career and a family-they just balance it out differently.
  • Although you may not be on a strict morning clock to check in, that doesn’t mean that you get to hold up the teacher for trivial things. Please be mindful that we all get a turn and if you have the option of talking at a different time and see an upset parent waiting patiently that you know needs to go to work, please be courteous- I am sure that parent will be over the moon grateful to you!

 

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