Almost 7 years ago I had preemies. It is a very scary experience. It is something you will never forget, and until you have been through this trench PLEASE do not say you understand when someone tells you!
Mine were born 2 months early. They were the “big kids” in the NICU. When they were born I heard so much shit out of people’s mouths;
- It’s normal for twins to be early (somewhat true, but not 2 months early!)
- They are fine because of their weight-no moron. I was a gestational diabetic which is why they are so big-it really doesn’t help things like lung development!
- Why can’t we visit them? Neo-Natal Intensive Care-self explanatory to me.
- While the kids are in the hospital, why don’t you take some time to yourself and rest. Really? Please tell me you don’t have kids!
The NICU is something that you can never prepare for. Hearing that first cry gives you a false sense that things are fine. It doesn’t prepare you for finding out your child or children are being resuscitated. That they are on ventilators. Or that they have tubes everywhere and have machines all around them. And that you might not get to hold them! But you suck it up, ask the nurses lot’s of questions and you learn how to care for such small people.
What it also doesn’t prepare you for is some of the trash you see. Babies that never have a parent come to visit. Or parents that visit after a night out that can’t even be bothered to wash their hands before touching their child, which potentially gives them an infection and can spread through the NICU in a day.~Dear douchbags, thank you for giving my kids an infection that could have killed them. It was a fun 10 days on the strongest antibiotics possible and watching them try to cry because they could not have food for 5 of those days!
To this day, I still don’t understand why Children Services doesn’t have an office on the delivery floor. When I would go down to the cafeteria, I would see parents from the “regular” delivery wing, leave the child in the room to go for a smoke with nurses chasing them asking them what they were doing. Or hear-“Why do I need a car seat”?. These are the people (they do not deserve the title of parents) that make me angry. Children don’t come with manuals, but you sure as hell can pick up a book, burn up google researching, ask good parents, babysit- but do something! For all of the people who pray, beg, spend their life savings for the chance to have a child, please try or don’t have children. They are not tickets to get government money. They are not things that keep a family together or make someone love you. It is a CHOICE to be a parent.